It's been awhile since I've written a blog entry but I'm going to get back on it. Over the last month and a half things have been really up and down for me, and unfortunately mostly down. Working somewhere that I hated really started to get to me, added to the fact that I was still having problems at home with my girlfriend all resulted in me entering a bit of a destructive cycle. I started gambling more, roulette, blackjack and just playing poker recklessly. I done a lot of money.
All of that came to a head a few days ago when my girlfriend and I broke up. So now I'm single, I miss my girlfriend desperately but I think its for the best. We've got a lot of things to sort out, most importantly the pets. At the moment Marley is with me and the kittens with Kat, I'm crashing as my parents for a little while.
As for work, I've handed in my notice. I hate it there and the only thing holding me back from quitting a long time ago was Kat. I felt so underappreciated and over worked there and I didn't enjoy it. I was watching Sean Locke on Soccer AM this morning and he was talking about how when he thought Ray Wilkins got fired from Chelsea because he never looked like he cared or looked busy. I can relate to that, I think my bosses think I don't do anything even when I am insanely busy because I don't moan, I just get on with my work. I get accused of being too laid back. It's been a nightmare, but I've quit now.
I'll be working until the end of the year, leaving cheap at my folks for a bit then from January I will be concentrating on poker. As I said, I've done a lot of money gambling but poker is still what I love and what I want to do and I will regain the discipline from earlier in the year. I'll be focusing primarily on my £1/£1 cash game (that will be my bread and butter) and online PLO cash games (that will eventually be my main income). I know I can win at $1/$2 up to $5/$10 so those are the limits I aim to get to again. To begin with I will start at $0.25/$0.50 (maybe lower) and I will start putting the time in and the hands in. I want to complete at least 50,000 hands at any limit before I move up. Just so I have a nice sized sample.
So that's a brief overview of what has happened to me over the last few weeks. It hasn't been great, in fact it's been one of the hardest times of my life. But now I need to look ahead and figure out how I'm going to make changes, I'm young and single with no real commitments so now is the time to take the plunge into the world of professional poker. I know it'll be hard to begin with, and I know I can't afford to let my discipline slip, but I know I can do it.
As for work, I haven't arranged a finish date yet, but I've essentially told my bosses I want my final two months pay (Nov and Dec) in full. Whether they let me finish early in Dec is up to them, hopefully they say here is the whole of Decembers pay, you can finish work at the end of November. That would be ideal so I can just get on with things.
My living situation is the most awkward now, I don't want to live with my parents. They want me to pay £50 a week house keeping, but if I'm doing that I might as well pay £70-80 and live elsewhere. I'm going to talk to my friend Ste about maybe sharing a room, he's looking for a new place and he wants to save money. This could be a good solution, if we share a room, get a couple of single beds in there then I've got someone to help keep me on the straight and narrow with poker, we will both be paying half rent and most importantly I can keep my dog (which I can't keep at my parents). I hope Ste goes for the idea.
Once I start playing poker more, if I'm successful which I am certain I will be, I can keep on the cheap with Ste for a little while. I'll be out at nights and sleeping in days a lot so we won't be getting in each others way. But after a few months I'll be able to get my own place. Perhaps I'll be a baller like Sam Grafton and start renting right in the heart of London, what a G. I'd love to move back to Camden, my mate Joe (from Ou Est Le Swimming Pool) used to live in a lovely one bedroom flat with his girlfriend just next to Koko. It was over two floors and decent size fo £250 a month. Fairly expensive but I think after a few months of playing I should be able to afford it.
That'd be ideal. But finally, I'm going to be following my dream.
