A Mixed Bag...

This week has been a bit of a mixed bag for me. In terms of my normal life, I'm sick to death of my job. We're understaffed and overworked, I'm effectively running a 300 client helpdesk by myself most of the time, this includes answering all the phone calls, dealing with all email requests, etc. on top of all my other work I have to do. I just don't have the time, I hope they're planning to employ some new engineers because if not I can see myself quitting very quickly.

On more of a poker level, everything is going well. I haven't had time to play as often as I would like at The Vic. Mainly because I'm so tired during the week and at weekends I tend to meet up with friends. I'm going to try and make a bit more time, because I think it's important to play on a regular basis. The bankroll building is going well, I have over $4,500 online. This is in addition to the £1,000 I have in my poker account. So I've got about £4,000 built up so far, with my goal of at least £10,000 by January looking more and more achievable.

But then the positives once again, get trumped by a negative and for me this is a huge one.

When I first decided that I'd like to play poker for a living, I knew I had the discipline, I knew I had the dedication. What I didn't know is if I had would have the backing of my friends and family. I decided at the time that I would make a list of pros and cons of playing for a living, just to make sure I was certain of my choice. One of the big cons was the stigma the job holds with my friends, previously they all thought I was extremely addicted, and I was, but I've matured and changed since then.

Once I'd made my decision I decided to start writing this blog to record my thoughts, as a well to vocalise everything and to keep my mind clear. I didn't want my friends to read it because I knew they would give me a hard time about it all. Unfortunately, one of my friends discovered this blog (Hi, Joseph, if you're reading!), I spoke to him and asked him not to tell anyone and explained my reasons. Obviously he didn't listen because last night when I met up with my friends, they were all aware of it and if they weren't he was sure to mention it to them. It pissed me off, but things got a bit worse when they once again started questioning whether or not I was addicted and telling me that I was stupid for playing this game of chance.

What my friends don't see when I play a session online is after the three or four hours of playing and grinding is the additional three or four hours that I spend sitting at my computer running over all my key hands and analysing my hands. What my friends don't see is the discipline that when I lose a major pot in a casino that has put me on tilt that I get up, cash out and go straight home. What my friends don't see is the discipline and dedication I put in to try and improve my game every day to ensure that I win as consistently as I possibly can.

I understand that to them it is just gambling and to them it is just a game of chance. But to me poker is so much more.

Poker is not a game of chance, there is chance involved but there's chance involved in backgammon. There's still an overwhelming amount of skill involved as well. There is a reason that most of the top backgammon and chess players in the world move into poker, because the skillsets are comparable and the money is fantastic.

I also understand that they care for me and don't want to see me get addicted. However, if I have the approval of my girlfriend who cares for me and loves me more than any of they do. She has also seen me through the best and worst moment of my poker career, yet she believes that I have overcome my problems and I can move forward. I have the approval of my parents, who I sat down and discussed my plans with, they have also been there when I lost the last of my money and needed to borrow some of them to eat for the month, yet they can see I've grown up and matured and I approach the game completely differently now.

To me, everything that happened in the past was a learning experience. Why can't my friends see that?

I don't like having to defend myself from them, I tend to try to ignore it but it does get to me. Joseph referenced the fact that I played before I went to work one day. This isn't a regular occurence, there was a fire in the forest when I was walking the dog (a tree was alight) so I called the fire brigade. They asked if they would be able to see the smoke from the street, I said no, so they asked me to wait by the phone in case they needed to call me. That means I was all ready to go to work, but I couldn't actually leave. I had an hour with nothing to do, so I decided to play a little online session of poker.

I made $500 or so that morning and tweeted about it, basically just saying I made a nice amount of money before I'd even got to work and I was pleased. Wouldn't everyone be pleased if they made a week's salary before they've had breakfast? I don't see what's so wrong with that. My friends obviously do.

It's annoying, but when I made my list of pros and cons, I knew this would be a problem so I'll just have to deal with it.

On a lighter note, I met up with my friend Eshu on Thursday who took me to a little pub game in Angel. It was a £10 rebuy with a terrible standard of play and about 30 to 40 runners. I had a bit of fun there, donated around £40 to the prize pool (two rebuys and an add-on). The structure is fast, so I played quite aggressively to try and amass chips during the rebuy period, getting it in with any draws I could aiming to hit and build up a stack. By the end of the rebuy period I was on around 20K and up with the chip leaders, it didn't last long as I ended up running AK soooooted into Aces, as well as AQ soooooted into AK off-sweet.

Afterwards, I got involved in the 25p/25p cash game, with a live straddle around to the button. Again the standard was terribled and I managed to cash out £75 from there which was a nice result. It was good fun and a friendly atmosphere, a far cry from the places I normally play. I think I will go there on a regular basis. The people seem nice, and there is a lot of value in the cash game. It's just a shame it's on a school night because on Friday morning I was knackered.

Other Random Musings
Floyd Mayweather Jr vs Manny Pacquiao doesn't look like it's happening. "Money" Mayweather is playing stupid games, claiming no negotiations have taken place. I've always said he was a punk, an uber-talented punk, but a punk nonetheless. I think this confirms it, he's pussying out on a $40 million payday because he knows he can't hang with someone with the speed, power and talent of the dynamic Pinoy idol. The only word that I think describes this situation is DISAPPOINTING.

My younger brother put me on to a good website run by his friend. The guy is professional gambler and bets on the horses for a living, he posts up tips on a daily basis and seems to have a pretty good success with them. I personally don't gamble much, but will have the odd flutter on this. My friend, Ste, went to Newmarket yesterday for his girlfriend's birthday, I gave him a tip on Lujeanie each way in the 7:40, he put a fiver one and apparently got an £80 return. Not too shabby.

I think I'm gonna try and get tickets to the live WWE show at the O2 Arena in November. It'll be part of a birthday gift to my girlfriend for her 24th. Let's hope Rey Mysterio will be performing, because she loves him and his high-flying lucha-libre style.

I need to lose weight.

The IMAX is the hardest cinema to get tickets too! I need to make more of an effort to book in advance when I want to see a big film there. I was desperate to watch Inception there, but it's booked out until the end of August. I think I'll have to go see it at VUE Islington or something. I'll be sure to book Tron well in advance, that is going to be absolutely epic.